Heroins & Villains: Part 2

Through many failed attempts at sleepovers, on both sides of the street, they too had to be eliminated.  All of my growing up was spent in the same neighborhood, with lifelong friends.  Summer days spent running til dusk on the many trails and floating winding canals and catching snakes on the rocks which surround the Bay near my dad's house.  There were not many manicured yards or housekeepers where I came from.  There was pure joy, creativity, innocence and wholesomeness in the games we made up and the way we were to each other.  Of course we had tiffs, but we were just being kids.  Figuring out who we were.  There was such freedom for us to just be ourselves, that we are all strong and well balanced to this day.  Nostalgia is why I was so excited for my boys to have friends like that. 

On the final day of Summer soccer, I will admit I was relieved to be free of any obligatory time I had been paying to this other family.  Then again we were finished, and again, and again.  Our sports seasons nearly run into each other, but that is planned just so.  Keeping kids busy in organized sports is a great outlet for them.  Anyway, I need to include Halloween day as an ironic catalyst.  It fell on a Sunday this year.  In the late afternoon, I had to go to work.  Not a serious career move, but a well paying side job.  All three kids were at home with my husband.  In itself, a momentous occasion which usually ends in mommy mediation.  Not fun, but it's my life.  This day was quite abnormal though.  When I got home in the early evening, it was time to get on costumes, leave to Grampa's and collect candy from strangers at their front doors.  My nine year-old was a bit apprehensive.  Shy and a bit reclusive, which is very unlike this class clown.  Trotting from house to house, but ready to get home after only a couple of long blocks.  Could they just be growing up?  I'm not ready for that!

There was an epic explosion that very next day.  It happened to be just the first of many over the next few weeks.  I was in my Bakery when the call came through.  My dad  is an integral part of the story.  When I had s boy, we were living with my dad.  He was always an active, consistent, single parent.  Wonderful, in-home sitters are nearly impossible to find, however he was offended at the idea of anyone else watching his grand baby so that I could go back to work.  Over the next five years, we preceded to uphold this routine without fail.  Though we did not live with him after the first year.  This man makes it to every game and practice for sporting events, every school function, Holiday and is around nearly every day of the week.  He and my middle son are the closest of the bunch.  This is a huge part of the saga, as you will learn.  As the principal explained to me over the phone, my son had displayed an array of undesirable behaviors, and was therefore suspended!  I don't feel the importance of including the details of this interaction.  Partially because it is unimportant to the process and the larger portion is that it is irrelevant.  Obvious to me, this was a reaction to something that was inside him and had little to do with the facts in that classroom.  Their reality was having changed teachers.  This change was the first of three over the next two weeks.  

Suspension is not particularly productive in my theory of punishment.  One side of the spectrum would say that the parents will be so put out that their punishments at home will be enough to make the kids never repeat the same behavior.  What if these kids were getting abused due to being stuck at home and not in school?  When does it become enough of a financial burden for these adults to miss work and stay home?  Should students be home alone?  What exactly do administrators expect us to do at home?  Our kids did not get in trouble at home, yet we are suppose to teach them a lesson?  Even dog trainers know that you should not scold a dog for running off when he finally comes home!  

I will say that I am proud to be a proactive parent.  Although it's not so revered by certain school district members at the moment.  I really don't care.  My interest is getting my son through school, no matter what the cost.  Maybe it's time I can start offering advice to any parent in a similar situation.  You are the advocate for your child.  Principals and anyone employed by the school district are not obligated to help your child.  Their best interest is their priority.  This is not to say that the men and women here will not go above and beyond their job description, and I will give them much praise throughout the latter part of this...where it is due.  Everyone wants to be thought of as a Hero but their actions are what forces them to be viewed as Villains. 

For now, I must go.  Although the actions of my son have been repeated pretty much like the story before.  I do not feel it is important to wallow in the muddy mess that has gotten me to where I am right now.