As I rock my baby to sleep to the rhythms only he and I hear, my mind wanders through the memories of the past ten years. Jumping from one to the other like a frog on Lily Pads. I expected I would be single forever with my two boys. It did not bother me. They were always my priority, through a litter of failed attempts at a functional relationship. Had I reached a point where I was happiest? I am a better mom than I am a wife.
When I decided to let my now husband date me, I had spent the prior few months dodging his questions, and obviously not convincing him that I was not a great candidate. How did I get here!? Speaking to some of my old friends, they can't believe I got married...have a new baby...minus the white picket fence. My husband is wonderful. Being married is more challenging than I anticipated. The fruit is my baby. It is interesting...starting over. Well, that's what everyone else calls it.
Finally Van was asleep. I could put him in his bed. But, he's melted into my chest. Breathing into the nape of my neck. Ecstasy. So, the decision to just put up my feet, rest into the rocking chair and fall asleep was the best.
What a wonderful life...
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